


Wedding of the Year

by thebasement_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-08-31
Updated: 2001-08-31
Packaged: 2018-11-20 19:23:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11341737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebasement_archivist/pseuds/thebasement_archivist
Summary: What really should occur at a wedding. Any wedding. I hate weddings.





	Wedding of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> Note from alice ttlg, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Basement](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Basement), which moved to the AO3 to ensure the stories are always available and so that authors may have complete control of their own works. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in June 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Basement's collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thebasement/profile).

 

Wedding of the Year by Ruthless & Relentless

Disclaimer: If Carter doesn't like it, bring it on. Better men have tried and failed.  
"Wedding of the Year" by Ruthless and Relentless  
Spoilers: One cheeseball has a very bad day.  
Plot: What really should occur at a wedding. Any wedding. I hate weddings.  
Rating: Would you read it if it were anything but NC-17?  
Slash warning: This is Terma, enough said.  
Notes: I want more Krycek in the X-Files.  
Archive: Sure. Let Dr. Ruthless know where.  
Grovel for feedback: I write for me. If you like it, that's cool, if you don't, leave me alone. Send copious good feedback to Dr. Ruthless at , she gets hungry and I want her to be fed. 

* * *

Wedding of the Year  
by Ruthless & Relentless 

It was going to be a gorgeous day. Fleecy little clouds floated in the azure sky, and the sun was heating up even though the day was still young. The Scully residence lay in the midst of an gloriously well established garden, and the glowing green of the well manicured lawn was the focus of a hive of activity. A marquee had been erected in the middle of the grassy expanse, and caterers were bustling in and out, putting the finishing touches to a buffet that was so lavish it made the tables groan. Dana Scully was up and about already, pacing nervously in her underwear as she suffered her mother's attention. Her dress lay ready in its swath of tissue paper, and her sister in law, ungainly in the seventh month of her latest pregnancy was exclaiming over it. Its silken folds shimmered on the bed and she sighed, thinking back to a time when she had been slender enough to fit within its confines. 

Fox Mulder was also pacing, growing increasingly uneasy. When he and Alex had awakened that morning, his usually aggressive, attentive lover had been stone silent. Not long after they became lovers, Mulder realized that by nature, Alex Krycek was a very quiet man, but this morning was so far past quiet that it was dead air. When Alex had rolled out of bed, ignoring all of Mulder's playful entreaties, the dead air became frosty. Mulder couldn't resist puffing out a breath just to check if he could see it. When Alex returned, he headed straight into the bathroom. He was carrying the bottle of Stoli he kept in their freezer and he took a long swallow as he closed the door and locked it. 

Mulder was baffled. He thought through the events of the past 24 hours, and nothing at all came to mind. He could find no reason whatsoever for Alex's actions. Sighing, he made up his mind, and made his way to the locked door, behind which his beloved Alex was presumably getting himself plastered. He was dressed right now in just a pair of faded blue jeans, and his hair still stood up in little tufts and spikes, from where he had run his hands through it repeatedly. Diffidently, he rapped on the door and waited. There was no reply. He banged a little harder, but still nothing, although he could hear something suspiciously like muffled cursing coming form the bathroom. Finally, he gritted his teeth, backed off and ran at the bathroom door, hitting it hard with his shoulder. The door shook, but didn't give way. He backed off to take another run, and dropped his shoulder. No doubt the door would have given way at his ferocious onslaught, but it never had the opportunity. Alex opened it, just as Mulder crashed through, and as he did so, Mulder hurtled through to wind up in the bathtub with a despairing yell. 

Fetching up in the tub, in a haphazard sprawl, he gazed up at his lover and asked the million-dollar question. 

"What's wrong, love?" 

Alex had turned to look at Mulder. Mulder pulled his best pout in hopes that he could get the stone man to say something. Still holding the now empty bottle of Stoli, Alex reached down and hooked one hand under Mulder's arm and easily lifted him up to a standing position. Then Alex walked out of the bathroom. Mulder realized that Alex had walked, not staggered or swayed and that despite drinking an entire bottle of lethal potato juice on an empty stomach, the man was cold sober. Cold being the operative word. This was not good. Mulder knew he had to get some kind of communication out of Alex and it was going to take all his skills. Mulder was giddy with delight at the challenge. He loved Alex more than anything on the earth, he was totally indecipherable and therefore a complete package for Mulder to open anew every day, perfection within perfection. Mulder stepped carefully from the tub and found the nude man standing in the living room, his back to the bedroom door. The empty bottle was sitting on the floor beside him. 

"Hate" was quietly growled. 

"What is it baby, what do you hate?" Mulder said softly. He closed the distance but he knew from Alex's tensing muscles that he had gotten as close as was safe at the moment. 

"Weddings" said even lower, venomous. 

Two words, Mulder thought. Progress. 

"Why do you hate weddings, Alex? Why didn't you tell me?" Mulder was talking softly, but not soothingly. Alex saw through that trick in a second and it really pissed him off when Mulder had tried it in the past. 

"I. Did." Followed by a quiet rumble that Mulder always though of as Alex's own personal early warning system. 

Alex was right, he had made it clear in his own way that he did not want to be part of the day's activities, yet Mulder had pushed him. This was bad. Scully would have asked him, how bad? Mulder knew that with Alex, bad did not come in degrees, it came in waves. He knew he was going to have to come up with something to try and salvage this situation. He hated to do it, but he dove in deep and pulled out the secret weapon he used when Alex was his most intractable. 

"Alex," Mulder said softly. "If you go with me to the wedding, we'll play a game". 

Alex Krycek, primal, deadly, professional enigma, turned and looked at Mulder for a very long time. Mulder stood still. Moving would be the worst mistake possible. 

"Tell", he said to Mulder. The faintest flicker of humanity had ignited behind those amazing eyes, and Mulder began to talk. 

"Baby, it can be whatever you want it to be. We can play with Scully's brother after the ceremony. You know how afraid of you he gets, and he really hates me. We could surround him, and make him really annoyed, or we could..." His voice trailed away to nothingness as he saw the expression on his lover's face change. He felt a chill run down his back as the green eyes glowed like twin lamps from hell. He recognized the signs. 

Alex was having an idea. 

Mulder knew from experience that it was way too late to circumvent whatever evil his beloved was plotting. He quailed inwardly as the beatific smile spread over the other man's face. 

"What? What have you thought of?" He put out a hand to touch Alex gently. His stomach tended to feel as though someone had scooped out a dollop, and replaced it with ice cream whenever he gazed at this gorgeous man who had given himself without regret. He loved him, but he was also aware that Alex was more than a little crazy, and that he was probably not going to enjoy the day. 

Alex's eyes contained dancing imps, and his smile held a delicious wickedness in it that made Mulder's cock twitch to hardness right there. He knew that he was going to end up going along with his love, just because he was so beautiful when he was being evil this way. 

He also knew that he was going to regret it, whatever the plan might be, because Scully was going to get really mad at him. 

"Alex? Tell me, please?" He cringed inwardly, but Alex smiled at him, and moved in to pull him close, kissing him hard and feathering kisses down over his chin and beyond, to the fuzzy trail that led from his navel to the button that fastened his jeans. 

"Oh, nothing, Fox. It's nothing to worry about." His mouth began to do things to Fox's fly, and then to Fox's burgeoning erection, and soon, Mulder was lost in the sensation of being eaten alive by a rat. 

This, as it turned out, was a very bad thing indeed, although at the time it felt pretty damned good. 

So damned good that Mulder let out a yelp when Alex slowly unfolded and stood, breaking all physical contact. 

"ALEX!" Mulder moaned, "Don't do this to me. Don't stop!" 

Alex was so close to Mulder that his breath warmed Mulder's ear when he spoke. 

"You're not going to enjoy this day until I do," Alex husked quietly. 

Mulder knew he was in so much trouble that it was probably going to take the rest of his lives just straightening out whatever happened on this one day. He also knew that Alex would make it worth every nanosecond. 

Painfully, Mulder moved into the bedroom to get dressed. 

Alex went into the bathroom to shower, this time leaving the door unlocked. Mulder laid out the Armani summer tuxes he had picked out for them both. He didn't particularly care for the white coat for himself, but he chose these deliberately because Alex was a work of art in this style. He started chuckling as he remembered buying the suits. First, he had to explain to Alex that you didn't just buy a tux like this off the rack, you went to a store, made the purchase and then had a fitting. Alex had wanted to know what constituted a fitting and Mulder answered, leaving out a few of the details. He wouldn't repeat that trick, the tailor's medical bills were still coming in and it was only because the man was terrified of Alex that he didn't sue. Mulder had ended up having to measure Alex's other inseam. 

He'd had to let Alex pace for an hour before he could get him to stand still long enough to get that far. If they hadn't been purchasing two Armani tuxes they would have been arrested, but the storeowner was a greedy bastard so he'd 'overlooked' Alex's behavior. That the man was also gay didn't hurt. He was mesmerized by Alex, to the point that Mulder was starting to feel very possessive. When Alex finally moved over to Mulder, invading his space to let him know that he would now allow himself to be touched, Mulder had looked at the owner and flashed him a very evil grin that said it all, " Mine!" 

As they left the store Alex made his first comment since they entered the place, 

"Fucker isn't gay, he's festive", Alex growled. 

Mulder almost dropped their packages. People thought Alex had no sense of humor, they were so wrong. You just had to be able to understand it. 

*** 

The groom was fighting with his own tux right at that minute. He hated the feel of the thing. He felt as if he had been trussed for the oven like a roast, but his Dana had wanted it, and he could stand it, just for this one day. 

Walter S. Skinner studied himself in the mirror and nursed his hangover. He had drunk rather too much the previous night, in the company of Dana's partner, Fox Mulder, and his strange, silent, deadly lover. Alex Krycek was an unnerving presence at the best of times, but last night he had been especially saturnine, drinking neat Stoli and occasionally interjecting as Mulder and Skinner had shared anecdotes about his bride to be. 

He wondered what the day would bring. 

*** 

Dana herself was tempted to phone for a one way ticket to Paraguay, or somewhere equally remote, and hide herself at the top of the highest mountain she could find. She wondered why she had allowed herself to be talked into all this fuss and furore. If she had been left to herself, she would have been content merely to stroll to the registry office one lunchtime to tie the knot, but her mother had been so disappointed that she had given in against her better judgement. She had bitten the bullet and allowed her mom to organize what she called a 'quiet wedding'. 

She was still not sure how the heck 400 guests, a marquee and an army of caterers could be called a quiet wedding, but it was soon going to be over. In just another eight hours, she and Walter would be on a jet heading for Puerto Plata, and a week in the sun. Hopefully that would give their jangling nerves the opportunity to die down 

All she had to do right now, apart from looking beautiful, was to get through the day without permitting any of the factions at her wedding to come to blows. 

Easy! Child's play! 

Frowning, she contemplated Fox Mulder, knowing his propensity for causing trouble. Once she had allayed her own fears regarding Mulder, her thoughts sprang instantly to the hell born brat he had taken up with. Alex Krycek and Fox Mulder, the thought of the two of them running amok at her wedding sent her worriedly to the phonebook to look for travel agents that sold South America. 

At that point her mother returned to the room to help her on with her dress, and her chance of flight was over with. 

Her mom was preoccupied with the fact that the caterers had commandeered her kitchen, and were even now attempting to round up and contain the twenty live lobsters they had brought to cook, and which had unaccountably escaped their box. 

*** 

Once Mulder had gotten dressed, he went in to check his email and phone messages. He was halfway through a drunken message from Frohike when Alex moved into view. Mulder was astounded. Privately, he was very concerned about how Alex and the tux would get along, they'd had a bad start and his lover was not exactly what he considered polished in the sartorial arena. Alex prowled into the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets, totally unaware of Mulder's reaction. Alex wore the suit like he was wearing his jeans and leather jacket. Armani couldn't dent Alex's bad-ass posture, this man was wearing the suit, the suit was not wearing him. He was stunning, beauty personified. Turning to look at Mulder, Alex caught the rapt expression and decided now was a good time to begin playing. 

"I'm hungry," he said quietly. 

Mulder swallowed twice, and answered, "Baby, there is going to be tons of great food at the wedding reception." 

Alex repeated, but lower this time, with more urgency, "I'm. Hungry." 

Mulder walked over to him and put his arms around Alex's broad chest, although his long arms barely made the circumference. Alex may behave coldly, but he radiated heat all the time. 

"What are you hungry for, Alexei?" Mulder asked with equal quietness and urgency. His need for this man was overwhelming, he could smell Alex's own dusky fragrance. Everything about him intoxicated Mulder. 

"Has to be hard, long," Alex rumbled, almost inaudibly. He then slowly lowered his eyes and shifted his stance so that his pelvis was pressed against Mulder's. 

"You aren't wearing any underwear." Mulder couldn't help but notice as he pushed back into his lover's tight, hard thighs and crotch. Mulder lowered his hands to that excellent ass and began massaging, feeling the strength straining at the thin cloth. Alex lifted his hand and pressed one long finger firmly against Mulder's lips. Mulder got the message and shut up. 

Both men began to gently rock back and forth, letting their erections enjoy the friction. Mulder could sustain only one thought. Alex was relenting! Mulder knew that Alex had more control than he did when it came to sex, but Alex's appetite was insatiable. Just as Mulder was bringing one hand around to massage the front of him, Alex easily reached around Mulder and picked up the large pretzel stick he had pulled from the cabinet and laid on the counter. He tucked just the end into his mouth and slowly sucked it further in, using his tongue to lick at the bottom as he used his voluptuous mouth obscenely. His eyes now locked on Mulder's and his breathing deepened and became harsher, panting like an animal. 

Mulder wondered if he was going to be the first man to die from an overdose of eroticism. Something about the expression in Alex's eyes frightened Mulder enough that his brain started functioning again. Mulder froze. He finally realized what Alex was doing and the mother of all groans started in the bottom of his feet and worked its way up his tortured body and out of his mouth. Alex slowly, inexorably, backed away and sauntered into the living room as Mulder stood by the sink, bent over and moaning. Then he heard it, unmistakable for anything else. 

Alex was laughing. 

The tremors that shook Mulder's body were testament to the effect that his lover had on him. However, he knew better than to try and remonstrate with him when he was in this kind of mood. The last time he had tried to do so, Alex had bound and gagged him, sucked him until he was close to blowing a fuse, and then gone off out for the evening, leaving him stranded, hot, and totally unable to help himself. It hadn't helped that Scully had been the one who found him like that and released him. When Alex had come home, he had given Mulder his most arrogant stare, and refused to touch him for a week, preferring to jerk himself off while Mulder suffered from pangs of unrequited lust. He wouldn't be doing that again. 

He turned to look at his reflection in the mirror, and as Alex strolled over to stand beside him, he took in the sight of the two of them together. They were of a height, the two of them, and both were dark. Both of them were handsome, but that's where the similarities ended. If he himself was built for speed, Alex was built for power. Mulder was slim and strong, wearing clothes with the elegance of a fashion model. He was careful of his appearance, never liking to be less than well groomed. Alex, on the other hand, didn't care. He was sturdy, with a deep chest and strong arms. He was Mulder's opposite in many ways, not caring one wit about the clothing he carelessly draped onto his body. He preferred to go naked at home, but his usual outfit of choice was battered jeans and plain T-shirt, covered by the ubiquitous leather jacket. His appearance in the tux was a revelation. Mulder had thought that the unaccustomed apparel would somehow have dented his lover's self-confidence, now he could see that this was not going to be the case. 

Moving in to stand beside him, Alex casually draped an arm around him, and Mulder turned his head to nuzzle at his cheek. 

"I love you, Alex." His voice was quiet, matter of fact, but nobody hearing could doubt the sincerity of the softly spoken words. 

"I know you do, G-man," Came the husky reply "But don't think I'm going to ease up on you today. You don't get any fun out of this until I do." He kissed the angle of Mulder's jaw, the flicker of a pointed tongue sending shivers through from his neck to his navel. Absently, his hand crept down to press against his own crotch as he moaned. Cobra fast, Alex had his hands at Mulder's throat, the fingers tightening until blood roared in his ears, and the world faded to a place where all that existed were Alex's fingers around his neck. "Don't you dare! If you touch yourself again, you'll regret it for the rest of your very short life. That's mine, do you hear me? Mine, and I forbid you to touch it." 

Wordlessly, he nodded, unsure if he would ever be able to speak again. His lover studied him intently for a few minutes, and then kissed him very suddenly, deep, hard, and dangerous. 

"We'd better get going if we wanna see the Ice Queen get hitched." There was nothing in Alex's voice but amusement, but Mulder still had that sinking feeling in his belly as he followed his unpredictable lover out to their car. 

Alex took the car keys from Mulder's hand. 

"I drive." 

It was a statement, not a suggestion. Mulder figured it would give some time to come up with a lie to tell Scully when she asked him about the bruises that were even now growing darker on his throat. He also knew that she'd know what had really happened. Scully wasn't completely convinced that someday Alex wouldn't kill Mulder, and she made that very clear to him. 

Mulder looked over at his lover. Alex was driving fast, as always, ever silent and intense in his concentration. He felt Mulder's stare and without looking over, placed his hand on Mulder's leg. 

It was a possessive gesture. Alex was very tactile with Mulder, touching him, moving in close, breathing his air. Mulder knew that Alex was dangerous, it was an intrinsic part of him, no more separate than the unnaturally lush eyelashes that framed the windows to Alex's soul. He also knew that Alex would never kill him, or let him be killed. 

Mulder couldn't explain it adequately to Scully, but he felt safer with this deadly man than he had ever been. He was safer than most people would ever be in their entire lives. Alex would torment Mulder sexually, harass him mentally and cause him no end of difficulty, but he would never cause him real harm. Mulder knew this without doubt. He had known it from the first time they had made love. Alex had let down the Kabuki mask he wore and Mulder had seen something so deep, so primitive, so possessive in those eyes that he knew he was mated for life. 

Alex owned Mulder, loved him in the only way he understood and Mulder cherished it, needed it and would never let go, never underestimate it. He didn't need Alex to profess traditional love, he needed Alex as he was, for what he was and he knew Alex needed him. That was a helluva lot more than Mulder had seen in most *traditional* relationships, no matter the pairing. 

Alex swerved the car into the parking lot of a convenience store and turned off the ignition, interrupting Mulder's musings. 

"What do you need, baby?" Mulder asked. 

"Altoids. Stay here." 

"Mulder did. He didn't need anything and he knew that Alex was not in the mood to have him follow every footstep right now. A big smile crossed his face when he saw the reaction of several young women as they did a jaw-dropping double take at seeing Alex. Alex didn't notice them, he never did see how people reacted to him. Mulder thought it was one of his finest traits. Zero vanity. He had to admit, coming and going Alex was mighty fine in that tux. Even the tailor would have agreed. 

Alex went to the back of the store and made a series of rapid phone calls on his cell phone, then grabbed some Altoids, actually paid for them this time, and exited the store. The young women were still standing outside, reluctant to miss any view of him. Mulder understood. He wanted to tell them the view was even better without the clothes, but he kept that nugget to himself. 

Alex climbed back into the car and pulled out into traffic, they'd be at the Scully residence soon. 

*** 

Pulling up outside Dana's parent's house, Mulder was a little nervous as he watched Alex's reaction to the valet who wanted to take their car away and park it. He relaxed when his lover finally relinquished the keys. Then as Alex turned to him with his sardonic smile, and threw his arm around Mulder's shoulders, he melted, snuggling against the vibrant body that bracketed his, as the sexy rumble of his lover's voice reached him. 

"Come on, baby, let's go get hitched." 

The door to the house was standing open, and the commotion inside was all but ear splitting. Caterers were dashing between Kitchen and marquee, and somewhere in the background, someone was lamenting lost lobsters. A man with a clipboard and glasses that hung around his neck from a cord minced about in very tight jeans calling for more something or other, and was ignored utterly. That is to say ignored utterly at least until he came nose to nipple with Alex, who was on his way through to the back yard to see what the heck was happening out there. 

"Oooooh!" shrilled the man with the clipboard, fingering Alex's lape

  
Archived: June 02, 2001 


End file.
